August 31 was the day. The cremation of the world’s favorite singer Aretha Franklin, singing “All I Want Is a Little Respect” (ie, I just want to get a little respect). Her fans gathered to pay tribute to her. One was singer Arianna Grande. She also sang a song of Aretha on the request of Aretha’s family.
In the video I saw, Bishop Charles Ellis is standing on the podium. He calls Ariana to him. Arianna comes, both of them hug each other. But after this, Bishop Ellis’s hand gets stuck in the upper part of Ariana’s waist and slowly the Bishop’s fingers begin to squeeze Ariana’s right breast. From Arianna’s gestures, his body language shows that he is extremely uncomfortable, but he does not immediately understand any way to deal with this public audacity and shamelessness of the bishop.
Seeing that moment and that uncomfortable, helpless feeling of Ariana, I started feeling very helpless and distracted. What happened to a singing star on live TV happens to all the women of the world everyday. It is a matter of great regret that this can happen publicly with a strong woman like Arianna. If you pay attention to the fingers of Bishop Ellis, then you will feel his brutal shamelessness.
Rise Of A New Drama
Just a day before this incident, that is, on 30 August, I get a WhatsApp message from a new and young writer of the Hindi world, Kshitij Roy. Kshitij has written a book called ‘Gandi Baat’. The talk starts with hi-hello and in the talk the writer says that he has some ‘sexy feeling’ (erotic desires) towards me which he wants to tell me but is not able to say with fear that maybe I I will block them
It was all drama. Pretend to offer sharafat on your sexual frustrations. Roy sahib had already decided that if he would show his wish to me, he would do so. He says that I should not consider him ‘raw’. Let them show their ‘firmness’. If I get a chance, he will make me so ‘wet’ that I will not be able to tell anywhere. In this way he made a vulgar history of his manhood.
This was not my first mischief by Kshitij Roy. About a year before this incident, I met him at the Indian Institute of Mass Communication in Delhi. He was keen to meet me. Our meeting was so bad that within half an hour, after leaving him, he came back to his hostel. I had made up my mind not to meet this man again. Then suddenly in the evening of the same day it sent me a shirtless photo of it. I was annoyed to see that, anger also came. I scolded it a lot, we had an argument and I blocked it on WhatsApp. And also removed from Facebook.
Recently, while I was unblocking some people on WhatsApp, I also unblocked it. But I had not thought that it could message me again. And even if I did, I would not do it in this way. A educated person associated with the world of literature, whom I considered myself to be, I ignored his mistakes. I also thought that there might be self-aggrandizement and that he would be deterred by such antics. But it would turn out to be so dirty it was really disappointing for me.
The social media of which we all boast that it is so powerful that the movements taking place around the world are strengthened by this, movements like #MeToo have been able to create so much effect through this medium. So I also thought of using the same social media and exposed the misdeeds of Kshitij Roy to the world, with evidence.
I am contacted from his house within half an hour of his activities being made public. His brother-in-law comes to me with a message and then a call. They apologize to me on behalf of family and also ask me the solution of this problem. On the other hand, his sister messaged one of my friends in this regard. The next day when I went to the police station to take legal action, his father’s phone came to me there. His parents apologized to me, expressing my shame. It is obvious that any sensible parents would do the same on their son’s actions. After his repeated requests, I gave up my intention to write a complaint. Although I did not want to do this. But still I gave it a chance.
On the other hand, a different story was going on on social media. As with every issue, along with those who supported, there was an influx of those who did the Victim shaming. I give below some examples of them-
1) Some wanted to know how we came to know, where did the conversation begin?
No matter where you are from Even if the criminal is my friend. Does he have the right to speak vulgarly to me and hurt my self-esteem?
2) Many people started saying why did they talk for so long?
The duration of our entire chat was half an hour. You all know that if you are not replying immediately, then what is half an hour, the matter can be drawn even twenty four hours. People should see what happened in the conversation, whether it is long or short. Insolent or not? And if that happens, isn’t it a reaction?
3) I could contact his family members directly or the police. Complains to him Why did you take the help of social media?
So in today’s age, social media is not the platform where the culprit is publicly shamed? His act public
It should be done so that he cannot even dare to commit such a crime with any other girl. At that time, I thought it right to do this because it is due to social media that the people whom we call stars, who are called writers and writers, what is the reality of them, it should be revealed to the people present there. I went to the police the next day. And why should I complain to my parents? Is the child who broke a child’s toy. He is a criminal. He committed sexual violence, his real face should be revealed.
4) When I decided not to complain, I wrote a post on this and told people why I was not taking legal action.
And there was mention of his parents because he only apologized. On this, people started saying why I ‘dragged’ the parents or anyone connected with it. Rather I did not just drag and mentioned.
5) No one even feared that it was ‘planned’.
If it was planned, I would have messaged Kshitij Roy and tried to forcefully call him anything. On the contrary, the person spoke to me and spoke whatever came to mind. I still listened to everything with a very cool head. But he crossed his limits.
6) ‘This social media trial is not a change of the insolence already done.’
Not at all I had said whatever I wanted to tell me about the earlier misdeeds. But even if someone believes this, then tell me whether exposing the culprit anywhere is called revenge?
7) People started explaining the principles of feminism to me. I started saying that I should not get excited and try to be politically correct.
Which law of the world seeks political correctness even on crime? Why are you teaching Victim to be so balanced?
8) ‘Why post for four days?’
I just wrote a post on it. All other posts have been made on the response of that post. If I had to drag it longer, I could have stretched it longer. But I was so mentally stressed that I wanted to stop it all. I also wrote this thing But people did not see any opportunity to judge me.
9) ‘Now, even if you know, forgive me.’
Would you forgive And I have already done it. That is why no legal action was taken. But as much as I did, I could not digest the masculinity inside you and you kept cursing me.
10) Questions also arose on my character whether I had any ‘intimate’ relationship with the criminal.
I have told you what my relationship was. If there is some dilemma, then ask the criminal itself. What should I answer for your short thinking? Zee wants to salute 108 gun guns to such people.
Whatever happened to me on social media is not new. In common life too, instead of guilty, it is as if the custom is to accuse Victim. This is the reason why women do not talk about violence on themselves, whether physical or mental, they do not make legal complaints even in heinous crimes. And thus things like rape become normal. Despite all the claims of women’s safety and women’s empowerment, the truth is that India has a very high influence in the case of violence against women. Until people change their mind towards the victim, all these things are nothing but mere rhetoric.